Villanelle Transcripts: Killing Eve S4E1

May: Have I ever told you? You sound like an angel.

Villanelle: Only sound like?

Barbara: Oi, Little Miss Perfect. Cat's been sick on the carpet next door again.

Villanelle: I'll deal with it.

Barbara: It's chunky.

Villanelle: I said, I'll deal with it.

May: I don't know how you do it.

Villanelle: I sprinkle a highly absorbent powder on top.

May: I meant I don't know how you can be so good all the time.

Villanelle: I don't have any other choice.

Phil: Wow, more fish and loaves! You know, you don't have to live exactly as they did in the Bible. You can be guided by your own instincts.

Villanelle: It's better for me to have a road map.

May: Dad?

Villanelle: For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make you thank me. Amen.

May: Amen.

(Cat hisses.)

May: Lucifer, no!

Phil: Leave him, May, she's okay.

May: Lucifer, we talked about this. I'm so sorry. She needs to realise this is your home too now.

Villanelle: Hmm.

Phil: May, Nelle has to find her own place at some point. She won't want to stay here forever.

Villanelle: It's fine by me.

May: Well, even if she doesn't live with us anymore, she's being baptised tomorrow. Once she's baptised, she's part of the family.

Villanelle: I've always wanted a family.

Villanelle: Fish?

Phil: I thought we agreed you were going to widen your horizons. Find some interests away from the church.

May: Well, you wanted me to have a friend my own age now I have one.

Phil: Nelle isn't exactly what I had in mind.

May: Why? Because she's too perfect?

Villanelle: Wow. So holy.

Villanelle: Let me have a new life. Please.

(Cat meows.)

Villanelle: Come on. Come here. Come on. That's it. See? Hmm? There's nothing to be scared of. We're all friends here.Come on. Come here. Come on. That's it. See? Hmm? There's nothing to be scared of. We're all friends here.

(Cat hisses and meows.)

Villanelle: Can you stroke my hair? Now, tell me why you like me so much.

May: You're kind, you're funny. You're generous. You're clever. You're understanding, loyal. You're the best person I've ever met.

Phil: So, after the sermon, I'll lead you over to the font and present you to the congregation... "Our Lord Jesus Christ has told us that to enter the kingdom of Heaven..."

Both: "We must be born again of water and the Spirit and has given us baptism as the sign and seal of this new birth. Here we are washed by the Holy Spirit."

Phil: Of course. You know it already. Clearly, I'm surplus to requirements.

Villanelle: Let's jump to after you've baptised me. "May God, who has received you by baptism into his Church, pour upon you the riches of His grace." May, come here.

Villanelle: Here. Uh... here. My guest needs to sit here.

May: What guest?

Phil: May, does it matter? Nelle, we don't reserve seats here.

Villanelle: Well, I... I can't reserve a seat at my own party?

Barbara: Vicar! Vicar!

Phil: Barbara, I'm just running Nelle through the baptism service.

Villanelle: No... Can I really not reserve a seat at my own party?

Barbara: Vicar. You're gonna wanna see this.

Phil: In a minute, Barbara.

Barbara: Lucifer.

Phil: Please, Nelle. Explain why you were in the graveyard with a shovel.

Villanelle: The cat was dead when I found it. I went out late last night to hand out some blankets to the homeless and I... I saw it lying on the side of the road... squashed.

Phil: Why didn't you tell us?

Villanelle: Because you loved it.

Phil: Nelle, are you sure you're ready for baptism?

Villanelle: I saved you a pretty gory burial. One of the eyes was not where it should've been.

Phil: It's not just Lucifer. It's the fact that you've been here for months and we hardly know anything about you.

Villanelle: I was born in Russia, abandoned in an orphanage, then sold into slavery...

Phil: And you seem more interested in someone seeing you being baptised rather than the baptism itself.

Villanelle: If you're baptised in a forest and nobody sees you getting baptised, are you really baptised?

Phil: Do you believe in God?

Villanelle: I believe that people who believe in God are good people for me to be around.

Phil: Nelle, I can't baptise someone who doesn't have faith.

Villanelle: I have faith.

Phil: But...

Villanelle: I have faith that I'm not as shitty inside as some people think I am. And that I can prove them wrong. But only if you baptise me.

Villanelle: Do it now.

Phil: Therefore I ask, do you turn away from sin?

Villanelle: I do.

Phil: Do you reject evil?

Villanelle: I do.

Phil: Do you turn to Christ...

Villanelle: I do!

Phil: ...as your saviour? Do you trust?

Villanelle: Just dunk me!

Eve: Hello?

Villanelle: I forgive you.

Eve: What?

Villanelle: I said I forgive you.

Eve: You forgive me?

Villanelle: For not attending my rebirth.

Eve: Uh-huh.

Villanelle: Okay, I understand it might be painful for you to see me blossoming.

Eve: Oh, is that what you're doing?

Villanelle: I'm trying to show you I've changed.

Eve: You're the same person. You're exactly the same...

Villanelle: I'm not here to argue, Eve.

Eve: Maybe I've changed. Have you thought of that? Maybe I don't need... What are you doing?

Villanelle: Praying for you.

Eve: Oh.

Villanelle: Dear Jesus, please let Eve find faith...

Eve: I don't need your help. I need you to leave me alone...

Villanelle: Let her be who she really is inside. Give her courage, give her strength...

Eve: Don't you understand?

Villanelle: Save her like you saved me.

Eve: If you'd really changed, you wouldn't have come here.

Villanelle: If you'd really changed, you wouldn't have let me.

(Eve slaps Villanelle.)

Eve: Different person.

Villanelle: Hello? I said hello. Is anybody there? You know, it would be much, much easier if you just showed me you were real. A little wave? Maybe you don't know. Yeah. But it's very much in your interest for me to believe in you. I knew you weren't real.

May: I'm sorry your guest didn't come.

Villanelle: She doesn't believe I'm a Christian.

May: Well...

Villanelle: She thinks I'm pretending.

May: No one could pretend as well as that. Not even the best actress in the world.

Villanelle: Depends on the audience.

May: Well, this audience knows you. She knows you'd never hurt anyone...

Villanelle: You don't know me.

May: No!

Villanelle: No! No! Oh, no, no. Oh, my God. Are you okay? Huh? Huh? Oh. I didn't kill you.

Villanelle: Huh? Are you who I think you are?

Jesus Villanelle: What can I say? I'm as surprised as you.

Villanelle: Oh! So, what happens now?

Jesus Villanelle: Oh, easy. I lead you to salvation. Hmm?