Villanelle Transcripts: Killing Eve S3E3

Villanelle: It's flat...

Woman: Anyone can tell that.

Villanelle: I'd say this is three centitones out... No! Four.

Woman: Have you cleaned your hands?

Villanelle: Of course.

Woman: That piano is worth a lot of money. Please treat it with the respect it deserves.

Woman: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, no. No, no, baby. No. No, no, no, no, no! Baby, no, please. Please, baby, no, no... No! Baby, no! Baby, no, please! I'm begging you! I'm begging you, please... No... No, no, no, no, no! Baby, no, please! I'm begging you! No, no!

Villanelle: You really like that baby, huh? It's not even yours.

Dasha: So, you thought this was good idea?

Villanelle: I'm practising my characters, like you told me. Young mother and baby... and Grandma.

Dasha: What got into you? You have been unfocused and manic for days.

Villanelle: I'm just having some fun.

(BABY CRIES)

Villanelle: Stop that. I don't like it.

Dasha: You would think, after your last managerial disaster, you would learn to keep your head down.

Villanelle: It is not my fault he was an idiot.

Dasha: I keep telling them to look harder for good recruits. But what can you do?

(The baby throws something at Dasha.)

(Villanelle and the baby are laughing.)

Dasha: You think that's funny?! I'll show you what's funny. You come with me, because I've had enough.

(Dasha puts the baby in the trash can.)

Villanelle: Now, that is funny.

Dasha: You want to amuse yourself, go crazy. But I will not have you put both of our futures at risk.

Villanelle: I'm the one doing all the work.

Dasha: You think handling you isn't work? Why you think no-one else is prepared to do it?

Villanelle: Bad pension scheme?

Dasha: You should get your act together. You know? Jobs will get tougher. And they will not let you get away with being sloppy.

Villanelle: Sloppy?

Villanelle: No.

Dasha: "No"? What do you mean, "No"?

Villanelle: It's too soon. I have to prepare. I'm not ready. How about that?

Dasha: Not ready for London? All you need is anorak and face like cheese.

Villanelle: You're right. You're right. I know what I'm doing. I can handle this.

Villanelle: I want to smell powerful. I want to make people gag with it. Can you do that for me?

Man: Well... we have some lovely floral fragrances for ladies over here. The iris, in particular, is a very powerful...

Villanelle: Maybe I should describe to you what I'm thinking.

Man: Let me get a pen.

Villanelle: I want to smell like a Roman centurion... who's coming across an old foe... who, in battle, once hurt him greatly. Oh, but since then, the Roman centurion has become emperor and is now powerful beyond measure.

Man: Maybe something more woody.

(Villanelle is in a toy store.)

Woman: Would you like to make a talking bear?

Villanelle: This place is psychopathic.

Villanelle: I should have shot you in the head.

Recorded: I should have shot you in the head.

Villanelle: I should have shot you in the head and watched you die.

Recorded: I should have shot you in the head and watched you die.

Villanelle: I can't stop thinking about you.

Villanelle: Hi, Eve.

(Eve attacks Villanelle.)

Villanelle: Eve! I'm not here for you.

Villanelle: Smell me, Eve. What do I smell of to you?

(Eve kisses Villanelle.)

Villanelle: He's so happy.

Konstantin: Aaaagh!

Villanelle: Aaaagh!

Konstantin: Don't wait for me in the dark like that! It's rude! It's bad for my heart.

Villanelle: Don't you want to know why I'm in your bed?

Konstantin: Not really, no. I am too tired for games and I have to find six million euros tomorrow.

Villanelle: You will never find six million in a day. Not even if you sold both of your kidneys. Technically, you don't even own them anymore. The Twelve do. They own every little bit of you.

Konstantin: Goodnight, Villanelle.

Villanelle: What kind of baby do you think I was? I think I was cute. Do you think people smiled with joy when they saw my little face?

Villanelle: God, you're boring. You're more boring than that accountant I just shot. And accountants are really boring.

Villanelle: Hey! Hey! Huh?! Wakey-wakey, Konstantin!

Konstantin: I think you were ugly as hell, okay?

Villanelle: Great. Well, now you're just looking for a reaction.

Konstantin: No, I'm not. I've seen a photo of you. Very strange head. Bulbous. Unnatural.

Villanelle: Who was I with?

Konstantin: I don't remember.

Villanelle: I want to find my family.

Konstantin: Why? So you can feel like dirt the whole time about how you're letting them down?

Villanelle: Smell me.

Konstantin: No.

Villanelle: Smell me, hmm? What do I smell of? What am I wearing?

Konstantin: I don't know.

Villanelle: Ah! Power! I'm wearing power and to keep power you need knowledge. You'll find them for me. Okay?

Konstantin: I sleep on the couch.