Villanelle Transcripts: Killing Eve S3E1

Villanelle: If I'd have known getting married would be this much fun, I'd have done it loads more by now. When I first met Maria... I thought, "Great shoes." But then I learned, there's so much more to her than that. She also has a great house, and a pool and tailor. Hairdresser. It really is the all-around excellent package. When we met... I'd just had a really bad breakup. It was really bad. But when I think about my ex today... I realise... I am so much happier now she's dead.

Villanelle: This is my special day.

Dasha: Sincere... Congratulations!

Dasha: We have been watching you since Rome. You know that, don't you? You're not easy to replace. You should see some of the cretins they send for me to train. If you did ever want back in, I can get you more of everything. Money, travel, apartment. All better than you've ever had. You're so talented. You're the best I ever trained. You're...

Both: Destined for greatness.

Dasha: It's true. You have brilliant career ahead of you, Oksana...

Villanelle: Do you think I'm stupid! Do you think I'm stupid?

Dasha: I'm still champion.

Villanelle: Best out of three. Kopveska?

Dasha: I get them imported to...

Villanelle: Yeah!

Dasha: Hey, that is cheating.

Villanelle: So... If I do ever want to come back, and you give me all this amazing stuff... What's in it for you? Hmm?

Dasha: Knowing my most talented student is doing work of her destiny.

Villanelle: Uh-uh. I repeat... What is in it for you?

Dasha: If I get you back and working well... They will send me home, to Russia. Whatever you want, I will do it. I will get you anything. Just tell me. Trust me. Power is there for the taking, Oksana. You just have to be smart about how. Slowly, slowly, catch a monkey.

Villanelle: A Keeper. I want to be a Keeper.

Dasha: A Keeper is big. Higher than Konstantin, it's higher than me.

Villanelle: You said what I wanted, that's what I want.

Dasha: Ah-ha. Okay, okay. We... We can work with this. Right? Yeah, we can work with this. She wants to be Keeper. "Oksana, the Keeper." Oksana wants to be Keeper. Oksana, the Keeper. I will go to them tomorrow and I will say she wants...

Villanelle: "Villanelle." You call me Villanelle.

Dasha: Okay. Okay. Villanelle.

Villanelle: When you really, really want to piss her off, you say, "Russia is a corrupt state, clinging to the shadows of its Soviet glory."

Dasha: You see this woman? She was useless just like you, but I showed her how to be strong.

Villanelle: And fight dirty.

Dasha: Yes. Fight dirty, but listen to Dasha. Now piss off. And tomorrow, I want you on fire. A bit of spirit, please! I scared the shit out of them.

Villanelle: Really?

Dasha: They're open to it.

Villanelle: That doesn't sound like a yes.

Dasha: They'll promote you with full benefits, but first you have to show them you're up to the job.

Villanelle: No. That's not what I asked for.

Dasha: It's a process. Nothing good comes fast. You know that. Slowly, slowly...

Villanelle: Enough with the monkey!

Dasha: A good solid job, nice, political agitator... And local, too. Plus, big, fat, welcome-home bonus. Have fun with it. Your work was always so inventive and fresh. Almost as good as mine.

Villanelle: Better than yours.

Dasha: You know they still study my kills, for their brilliance? My work remains totally untouchable...

Villanelle: Because it's out of date.

Villanelle: Good morning.

Woman: I wasn't expecting anything today.

Villanelle: I've got you scheduled. Says right there.

Woman: Do you have a pen?

Villanelle: Family business?

Woman: My Grandpa's.

Villanelle: He is honest. You can see.

Woman: Yes he was. Very honest. You can leave them there.

Villanelle: My grandpa is honest too. He's sick right now.

Woman: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he gets better.

Villanelle: It's his heart. I tell him it's because it's so big. Is this OK?

Woman: Yes. Thank you. Saffron!

Villanelle: Excuse me?

Woman: Saffron. Use it as tea. It will help him.

Villanelle: Are you sure?

Woman: Grandpa would have done the same.

Villanelle: That's so kind of...

Woman: Ahh!

Villanelle: Untouchable.